Adornment

Sometimes our heavenly Father shows us how to better relate to him by focusing on our relationships on earth. We understand our earthly relationships by the responses we get back during times of interaction, and by long-term growth. As a married woman I have often noticed that I treat the Lord and my husband the same. For instance, when I feel that things aren’t going in a fair way at home, I also think that the Lord is being unfair with me. Last month the Lord began a lesson with me on just such a topic; wife-to-husband correlating with my relationship with the Lord. My purpose in sharing this lesson is to encourage all women in their relationships both with the Lord and with the ones they love here on the earth. May we all grow in the things of love that we adorn our heart with. Here's the lesson;

As a Christian, I thought that putting things in my hair would be considered extravagant. Paul suggested that women should not adorn themselves outwardly, but with good deeds (1 Tim 2:9,10). Peter said that a wife’s beauty should come from a gentle and quiet spirit, and not from outward adornment (1 Pet 3:3,4). This morning as I reflected on the fact that I used to have more encounters with the Lord than recently, He said, “I still walk with you, Helen. You just have not surrounded yourself with the things of love.” My first impression was seeing a bride, with beautiful ribbons in her hair. You can imagine my surprise. I was given the understanding that the Bridegroom’s presence would be drawn to the provision we, as a Bride, make for Him out of the love in our hearts. But what were the “things of love” that I needed to surround myself with?

Revelation 21 came to mind, where I read that the Bride adorned herself with her jewels (21:3). I could now see jewels and perfume added to my picture of the bride with ribbons in her hair. We are the fragrance of Christ, and His beloved (us) has perfume (Song of Songs 1:12). “These are the ‘things of love’ a bride does to let her groom know He is special,” came the Holy Spirit’s thoughts. “They represent time set aside in affectionate thought towards the one who is loved.” What seemed to linger were the words “time set aside” and “affectionate thought.”

A woman who loves a man spends time in thought about him. She learns his likes and dislikes, and speaks, acts, and dresses to please him. In looking at our relationship with Jesus, my thoughts went to time spent in worship, prayer, and devotionals. I expected the Lord to add something to this list, when He turned my attention to Dave, my husband. “What would the inner adornment of your heart look like for him?” the Holy Spirit said. “The ribbon would be______________ and the jewels ___________________. The fragrance ____________________.” With each symbolic adornment, the Lord brought to mind an adornment of my heart which was personal for my husband. What Dave would like is
• Time alone to process his thoughts
• Shared contemplative conversation after processing time
• Space to sort through his physical stuff
• Support and encouragement to be who he is
• Faith to see him as the man he will become
• Calling him a “good man” and assigning the motives of his heart to righteousness
• Letting my words be reminders of past strengths and victories

Being sensitive to Jesus is the beginning of having a heart to reach out and share His love with others. In a marriage, or any love relationship, we learn to share a personal love with the other person. It brings out the good in them by showing their worth. Listening, noticing small things, and remembering significant meaningful details are some of the ways we can make another persona feel valuable.

Last night I watched an action film with my hubbie. Movies are one way he stirs his mind up to think about life. He is contemplative afterwards and we have great conversations, if I make myself available. It takes a greater sensitivity to be present when my mind would rather do other things. That’s when “affectionate thought” comes into play. The Strong’s Concordance defines affection as “inward affection + tender mercy”, and “bowels”. I remember times when I just didn’t have it “in” me to watch a movie that I wasn’t interested in, and perhaps it hasn’t always been necessary to do so. But to have that deep affection in us . . . so deep that we call it our “bowels”, is important. This kind of affection is not critical, judging the harm of an action or the necessity of doing more important things. It is merciful, and comes along-side the person we love in kindness, adorning our hearts with the ministry of the “things of love.”

I see this as a partial list that will grow with time . . . time spent in affectionate thought. It is a lesson in valuing the person I say I love most on this earth. And the nice thing about learning to love our husbands is that we will also learn how to be adorned with the “things of love” for our Bridegroom, Jesus.

I remember wondering what the “things of love” were that I had forgotten, concerning the Lord. Since this lesson began I have put some things back into place that I know He treasures. The ribbon in my hair is time spent responding to His call spontaneously, when it is inconvenient to me. My perfume is preferring His counsel over the counsel of my heart. And the jewels I am adding are the precious words He has spoken in the past, placed in the setting of my own faith that God will surely be faithful towards all He has spoken. Seeing God as valuable, superior, and having the greatest of integrity has helped me to also see these attributes in my husband. I believe this lesson will travel in ever-widening circles, and hope it does the same for you. God bless, Helen