forgiveness

How do we pray for people that we want to forgive? After being badly wounded, sometimes we have trouble making forgiveness “stick.” Even after being offended we find that forgiveness is more than mouthing the words. It takes a divine transaction within us to minister this transaction between us.

Forgiveness is a gift of power, and that is the very reason our enemy gives us a hard time when we are wronged or offended. Once we forgive we can effectively pray for our brother. By standing in the gap for our brother we are an agent of reconciliation between him and God. Lest we forget that it is part of the divine nature to judge and to forgive, Jesus told the Jews that all authority was given to Him to judge men (Jn 5:27), and then told His disciples that they had the authority to forgive or retain the sins of men (Jn 20:23). We can put people’s sins under the blood of Jesus, just as He did.

Knowing we are within our legal bound to give the powerful gift of forgiveness doesn’t make room for it in our own heart, though. Usually the sting of pain returns more than a few times and imbeds the wrong-doing in our minds. Even after choosing to forgive we find the need to change our own hearts in order to give forgiveness. Change, or turning around, is called repentance. Though we expect our thoughts to change when we say “I forgive him/her,” there is actually another step for us to take. We repent of wanting our brother or sister to be judged, and then we bear the fruit of our repentance.

John the Baptist spoke to the Jewish leaders about bearing the fruit that was needed for their repentance (Lk 3:8-14). Before they could be baptized he told them that their actions needed to change. When we decide against judgment, and decide to forgive instead, we must begin to bear the fruit of that change of heart or forgiveness will not “stick” in our hearts.

I remember the day the Lord was dealing with me about a hard attitude I had against a brother. Because this brother’s offensive ways never changed I finally quit praying for him and built up resentment took hold of my heart. I just wanted God to change him by judging him. But the Lord thought differently than me. He said “I don’t want you to lose him, Helen.” Because I asked the Lord how to make the forgiveness I sought to give “stick” in my heart, He brought me opportunities to bear fruit. The brother became more present in my life, stopping by on his way to work. I would hear the Holy Spirit whisper, “Why don’t you make him a sack lunch?” So I did. I’d see the brother without money for gas and the Holy Spirit would whisper “He needs your help.” Since my criticism had been in the area of my brother’s unsuccessful management of his money and resultant poverty, the Lord sought my fruit in the area of generosity. My brother had failed in his finances and the Lord asked me to be a provision for him. And that is what made the forgiveness stick.

I have seen more thoughtfulness and better planning on the part of this brother than ever before in my acquaintance with him. God is better able to act on my prayers when I am bearing the fruit of giving forgiveness, having repented of wanting judgment. I would like to encourage you to live your lives as if you mean the forgiveness you are praying, and to pray as if you mean for God to bless the one who offends or has wronged you. Then we will see the hand of the Lord at work all around us. Amen.