Growing Relationships

Some people spend their lives trying to define their relationships so they will know what to expect, and how to behave. These people like to control the relationships and do not like change. Other people grow with relationships. They realize that people and circumstances change over time, and they themselves may even become active agents of healthy change. It is this second person, who grows with his relationships, who will find the purpose of and fulfillment in his relationships with men and with God. He will grow in his understanding of what to expect from the other person (their identity), and how he behaves (his identity). Those who control their relationships with God and men can only become experts in their relationships as a predictable system in which they operate, but can never have the intimacy of truly knowing the other person, nor of knowing God.

We have insights into God’s nature (His identity) through the roles God had with His Son, and His Son had with His disciples. We see that Jesus called Him “Father”, and on occasion called His disciples children. Jesus obeyed His heavenly Father and taught His disciples to obey. Children earn their father’s trust by following what the father says, and so we have parables about being trustworthy, which is measured by our obedience.

We also see that God is called “Master” and we are servants, submitting to God’s will. Jesus taught that even leaders should be servants, washing each other’s feet. Just as we learned to obey and become trustworthy in the role of God’s child, we learn submission and faithfulness in the role as God’s servant. God entrusts us with fellow-servants to feed as we ourselves are growing in submission and faithfulness to Him.

We also are a student of God’s word, as His Spirit is our Teacher. Because God is many things to us we find ourselves growing in knowledge in many areas. Just as a child who remains a child is retarded, we cannot remain the same in any one aspect of our relationship with God. It is His plan that young children will become fathers of faith, helping others to grow in their faith. Servants will learn to lead, eventually ruling as priests. Servants will also become friends of God, if they truly have learned their steps of sonship first; obedience, and trustworthiness. Those who study to learn will one day teach. God meant for all our relationships to grow, and with our growth in understanding of Him, we see our own identity changing, going from glory to glory.

Our final relationship with Jesus is as His Bride. As His Bride we enter the most intimate relationship with Christ, the Bridegroom. The Bride becomes Christ’s partner for life. She has gone through the stages of childhood, servant, and student. Because she learned to be obedient and trustworthy she could follow her heavenly Father into the role of the servant. There she learned submission and became faithful, nourishing others by the food wherewith she was nourished. As God’s friend she was entrusted with more insight about Him and His will. Because she did not betray His trust in her she became a leader. Because she was taught by Him she became a teacher. And all her works prepared her to become His Bride (Rev 19:7); God’s eternal purpose for His relationship with Man.

Those who do not reject growth in their relationship with God will be ready, prepared as His Bride. They will not be perfecting the same steps of childhood by repeating them over and over again. Because their very identity is growing they will press forward in their relationship with God, never more content to remain a child, servant or student.

God is growing His relationships with Man, and we must grow our relationships with each other. Our maturity in Christ should cause us to minister the steps of what we have learned to others (Eph 4:11-16). As spiritual fathers and mothers we should bring up babes in Christ to the same maturity and intimacy with the Lord that we enjoy. To keep members of our congregation the same is to be controlling, and to desire predictability. We will then have retarded children, ever learning but never coming to a knowledge of all God is and all they were meant to be.

God is coming back for His Bride. Let us make ourselves ready. Let us be busy about the Lord’s business of growing relationships in the Lord. And, of course, looking forward to His coming, let us say “Come Lord Jesus.” Amen.