The Grace Side of Love

One thing I have learned is that our enemy wants us to beat ourselves up over losing individual battles, before the war is over and done with.  Today the Lord reminded me of a time when I could not maintain victory over resentful thoughts, even though I kept forgiving the person.  I felt defeated and asked the Lord why I kept fighting the same old battles without victory.  His answer was that I had maintained my right to my anger, and therefore He couldn't do a lasting work.  Though I would have peace for a little while, my enemy would bring resentful thoughts back again.  Then the Lord said that whenever I decided to yield up my right to remain angry, I would have His help.  Though torment is like being in jail, God was handing me the key of release.

You'd think I would take the key and get out of jail, rejoicing in giving up my right to anger.  But I soon found out that anger was not only a stronghold in me, but it was also a powerful stronghold in my family.  And though the Lord never told me that the hurtful things that happened to me shouldn't make me angry or sad, He challenged me to then turn those emotions and the right to them over to Him.  He wanted me to know the grace side of love.

Before the Lord offered His grace in exchange for my right to anger, my love and hate had been bouncing up and down like a ping pong ball.  Since accepting His grace, I have many more victories. I notice my anger more, and that I can exchange it for His grace in hurtful situations.  But this exchange is a harder choice than forgiveness combined with my right to anger.  To me, forgiveness seems like it involves justifying evil deeds.  We can always find reasons why people act as they do, so we conclude that we ought to forgive them.  But the mental consent to forgive is only the first in a series of choices we make, and not the final act that releases us from the jail of anger.  It is in giving up our rights to anger that we secure the forgiveness we intend to give.  It is harder to give up our rights to an anger that seems justified, and yet when we release it to God, He puts His grace into our hearts; grace to love and to maintain forgiveness.

There are Christian counselors who hold out hope that we will exit our jail cells of tormenting thoughts when we "realize" why a painful event occurred.  But the mental exercise of realization does not heal the pain we are going through.  Only God's grace is sufficient for it all.  It is the grace-side of love that brings freedom from torment, joy in sorrow, and endurance in suffering.  Let us remember that God offers His strength to us by handing us Grace on a daily basis.  And His Grace enables us to love.  Amen.