Relationships

The relationships we have with one another, and the relationship we have with God all have a common element; love.  The description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 may seem to portray love as a way to control our behavior (such as having patience).  But more than a “way”, love is the “why” of what we do.

Whether speaking of brotherly love, or intimate love, a common thread that we find in love that it fosters a genuine interest in the other person.  We are patient with them because we want to spend time getting to know them.  That is why people who are in love spend time together.  They are getting to know one another in a way that is full of the excitement of discovery.

You could say that discovering a person we love is like discovering a new land and making it our home. If we were an explorer and fell in love with a new land we would take time to learn things about it.  Does the climate support growth, where is the water source, and is the soil good from growing our food? It is similar with relationships.  A relationship also needs a good climate, not moodiness, anger or violence. People need the satisfaction of drinking from each other’s conversation, for our words come from our hearts.  Growth will come from the good soil in our hearts if we are not self-interested or fearful.  These are a few of the things that make relationships solid and thriving . . . a good place to live.

Getting to know one another is the foundation of a relationship.  We cannot know another’s heart, however, if our motive is to correct them.  This is how many marriages fail.  If we are focused on behavior and problems that offend us we will eventually distance ourselves from wanting to know the other person, or loving them.

Focusing on problems will also affect our relationship with God.  The church at Ephesus had not tolerated wicked men, and though they found false apostles amongst them, they tested them and found them to be false.  The Ephesians endured hardships that would have made many of us weary. (Rev 2:2-3).  But they also distanced themselves from love.

“You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen!” (Rev 2:4-5).

What happens to our relationships during trials and hardships? Suffering and disappointment either causes us to become knit together by the strength of our mutual love, or we become weary and distant.  If we take the time to “remember” how high love’s way is, we will choose to keep our relationship.  Love will become the reason why we discover with genuine interest the other person’s heart all over again.

In like manner, our relationship with our heavenly Father is affected by our trials and hardships.  We can focus on what offends us, hurts us, and causes hardships in our lives.  If this is our focus, love of discovery will fail us during these times, snuffing out all interest in learning about God.  Though we persevere through the rough times, endurance is not enough if love is gone.  When our prayers focus on changing circumstances and fixing problems, we become a nagging wife to God.  If our offense endures, it will turn to hate.  Then we will lose God’s grace and turn to bitterness (Heb 12:15).

In good times and bad, God extends His hand to us, asking us to return to loving Him.  He delights in sharing genuine and mutual interest with us.  He wants time in which to converse, and wants to see us grow and bear fruit (Jn 15:8).  He knows that love is the reason “why” we succeed and are happy despite the trials that come our way.  Today, let us have a genuine interest in those whom we have a relationship with and spend time getting to know them better.  And above all, let us love. Amen.